Tuesday, March 29, 2011

It's a Good Thing My Eggs are Old and Useless or I Might Be Tempted to Get Big Bucks for Them / Lacey Schwimmer's Hair

I occasionally listen to a local talk radio station. On the top and bottom of every hour they have a very serious news report which often features special stories not related to local news. Last week I was listening intently when a female reporter came on in her official reporter voice and explained that "with raising costs of tuition, students are doing all they can to raise extra cash - performing laundry service, being designated drivers, participating in lab studies, or donating eggs or sperm."

Come again? Whaaaaaaa? Are that many kids getting through college by donating eggs and sperm?

As you know, I've been contemplating going back to school *bites finger nails* - There will, of course, be some cost involved, but thankfully not as much as if I were to attend a private school. The one thing I have not yet contemplated is selling some of my dried up old lady eggs to pay my tuition. Not that anyone would want them.

C'mon ladies of my age bracket, isn't it depressing when you see those ads for egg donors and the cut-off age is 15 plus years ago? Way to make you feel old and unwanted. Or at least your eggs....

Change of Topic: I think I'm getting bored of DWTS already this season. There. I said it.

Hey, but I learned something last night by browsing the message boards to get some insight into Lacey's Schwimmer's unkempt hair. Do you know that it is officially a style called "ombre" and that many stars like Drew Barrymore, Rachel Bilson are purposely letting their roots grow out so that their hair is one color on top and another on the bottom? Well, color me surprised to hear this!

What do you think of the look?

P.S. Old Biddy update from previous post - Got an email yesterday from the juggling club containing an apology from the director of the parks and rec department apologizing that we were kicked out in the cold. As it turns out the old biddies did not have the place reserved until that AFTERNOON (and they kicked us out at 10:30 am).... Man, now I'm even more fired up!!!!

Saturday, March 26, 2011

When I Get Old, Don't Let Me Be Like This (note to self)

This morning I had to get up early. Getting up early on a Saturday morning is a BIG thing in itself as there is nothing I enjoy more than sleeping in on a Saturday. Except maybe brownies and cheeseballs and watching Alex Pettyfer on screen and Josh Groban co-hosting Regis and Kelly.

VC mentioned a couple weeks ago that he would like to check out a juggling club an hour and 20 mins away. We finally had a free weekend so I figured we'd better seize the moment. So we hopped in the Element and headed North-ish.

The juggling club meets from 10-12. We got there at about 10:20 after getting delayed by an accident on the highway. It was a damp, chilly morning.

VC quickly headed inside to the warehouse-type building, which I quickly discovered did not not have a heating system. I discovered this because even my butt was freezing after 10 minutes of sitting on the plastic chair. But hey, at least it was indoors....

We noticed there were some people setting up for something in at the other side of the large warehouse-like room. Then I heard someone from the juggling club speaking to one of the woman saying that the juggling club had the building reserved every Saturday from 10-12.

Well, the old biddies couldn't care less because they said the juggling was disruptive and they couldn't handle the noise - (from across the large, cavernous room). They were supposedly setting up for some kind of dance. Old Biddy's group was a "paying group" so that evidently trumped the juggling club.

Here's the thing: there were only 4 jugglers juggling no where near where the set-up was occurring. Yet the old biddies determined that the club must leave immediately, which meant juggling outside in a park somewhere in the chilly damp temperatures for the remaining hour and a half.

I mean really, could people be MORE PETTY. They basically kicked us out. Since we never visited this juggling club before there was not much we could do.

Other than muster a mention that we drove an hour and a half to get there and give them the old evil eye.

Over the years, I've worked on perfecting the evil eye. I gave it to the sound guy as we were leaving. He was the young one who informed us about that the biddies felt the juggling was too noisy/disruptive and he seemed to be siding with them. (Mind you, the jugglers consisted of a mild-mannered middle aged guy, two moms in their thirties and VC.) Dude had one of those huge earrings in his ear. The kind that if he ever decides to remove it he will look like this:

Karma's a b*tch.

End of story: VC (who had strep a few days ago and a nasty cough) - juggled outside in the cold, damp weather for an hour and a half). MB and I went to the local mall to see if we could exchange something. We returned only to discover MB had left his hat in the store. We returned to pick up VC. Drove 15 minutes back to the store and then an hour and a half home. All the while I sang my new theme song:

And then I had to head to work for 3-1/2 hours of exhausting "mingling" ;-)

VC has been sneezing most of the afternoon. Coincidence- I think not.

Hope you are having a lovely weekend my friends :-)

Thursday, March 24, 2011

George Lopez Needs to Go

I never liked him much, especially after he ditched his wife after she donated her kidney to him.

If MB ever got one of my body parts and then kicked me to the curb, there'd be hell to pay- just sayin'...

Did you hear the recent rude comments he made about some of the Dancing with the Stars contestants?? He had this to say about Ralph Macchio's hair: "He cut a mean rug, then took the rug that he cut and glued it to his head."

Now I know many of you were already surmising it was a rug, but to rudely point it out on TV to make a mockery of him ---> That's not so nice, George.

And then he compared Kirstie Alley who I gushed about in my DWTS review post, to a pig!!

"She did a nice job, her little hooves tapping away," Lopez said. "Before the show, she went to the market, and then she had roast beef and this is her going all the way home." The show then cut to a pig screaming "wee" in Geico's "Little Piggy" ad. (This according to People Magazine) <---- where I get most my news from. Kidding. Maybe.

What do you think about George? Funny? or Evil?

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

My Daily Dilemma

I'm adding a new recurring segment to the blog because, well, um...let's face it, my neurotic self creates a lot of dilemmas!!

Two days ago I received an email from someone who works at the elementary school affiliated with the school VC attends. She was hosting a carnival for her kids' birthdays (4 kids combined party) -

A friend of VC's referred him to her and told her, suggesting he juggling at the event.

I checked with VC and he said he was free that day - so I emailed back that sure, he was available. Like a dope, I did not say up front what his normal "fee" was because I felt awkward doing it. He entertained at another birthday party for a student - and the school disseminated his info after he performed (for free) at a school event in case anybody was interested in hiring him.

Anyway, so I ASS-umed that she would know he normally doesn't do this kind of party for free. Well, then she emailed back after seeing his videos, said he was amazing and asked, "does he charge for coming?"

Then I broke it to her - he normally earns $___ for this type of party but I gave her an OUT by saying, "but if that is not in your budget, surely we can work something out, blah blah blah."

So then she emails back saying the amt is not in her budget but could he do it for this amount, adding "we still have to pay for food." Now his fee is not exorbitant - it is less than $100 and to have a "semi-professional" entertain for an hour, he is well worth every penny IMHO.

He used to do volunteer juggling gigs out the wazoo and then I had a lightbulb moment when I realized how much tiime it was taking me to drive him around and time away from other activities that he could be doing. I have not problem stating that there will be a charge. If they don't want to pay, it is not a big deal as we have a million other things going on. No big loss on our end.

VC juggles to earn spending cash. I do not get a "cut" - hmmm...although now that I think about it....I am constantly acting as his "agent," more like his "free agent" ;-)

Anyway, so VC agreed to the lesser amount and I emailed her back, adding that if she was having "second thoughts" it was not a problem, just to let her know. That way if she really needed the money for food, she would have an easy way to back out.

MB disagrees and said I should not have mentioned it that way to her. What do you think???

As an added complication, VC learned last night that his first track meet is that exact same day :-( so he is going to miss it if he does the party, but we have already agreed so if she still wants to do it, that's that.

P.S. I no sooner typed up this post when she said that she definitely wants VC to come. Her son saw his videos and is super-excited. So maybe my approach wasn't so bad after all ;-)

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Almost Coming to Tears Over DWTS and Other Updates

Last night I had this facebook convo and by "convo" I mean conversation - just sounds younger and more hip. Now that I've discovered I will soon be in the market for some reading glasses I need to do whatever I can to maintain my youthfulness :D

Me: Told myself there was no way I was going to watch DWTS this season, yet here I sit.

My Former Co-worker: nooooooooooooooooooooo.

Me: It's true. My son walked by and said "Not this. I thought you weren't watching it anymore." Talk some sense into me before I waste the next 10 weeks!!!

Former Co-Worker: Just say no!! Don't do it. I have NEVER watched that show, but so many people love it....

Me: I gotta say I almost had tears in my eyes (I'm so sappy ;-) ) watching Kirstie Alley dance - to go out there at her current weight and to still vamp it up and to dance better than most of the other performers - it was a feel good moment. Now I can stop watching.

Former Co-Worker: NO, you cant! you are hooked. tears, really???

Me: Really *hangs head in shame* But it is so true - after how the tabloids have crucified her - she got out there and totally won everybody over. I'm done gushing now.

Much as I wasn't going to watch the show, I'm glad I did just so that I could see Kirstie's performance. And to believe she is SIXTY!!! Now I feel a little better about my future in reading glasses. If she can still kick it like that - I have much to look forward to :-)

Loved her joke about hauling a$$ requiring two wheelbarrows.

Like many others, I was feeling bad for Maks when the partner announcement was made. Figured he got stuck with the booby prize. Well, it looks like a nice turn of events- I love Maks' spunk and he seems so happy with her.

I'd blog about the other dancers but they didn't make that big an impression on me. Sort of like one big lump of mediocrity and then Kirstie to be honest!! Plus VC wasn't feeling well and I was going up and down the stairs setting up the Humidifier, getting him Vicks Vap-o-Rub, decongestants, etc.

Health Update: Remember the health issue I blogged about 2 weeks ago, well initial tests show I'll be blogging for many years to come :D What a relief!!

Cleaning Update: Today I'll be mopping.

School Update: Still NO LETTER!! The suspense is killing me. Have already ruled out the school that was farther away. 68 miles away (one way) - that would mean 2-1/2 hours each day just in drive time. Plus the school required 3 additional classes.

So all my eggs are in one basket.

And yesterday I made the mistake of looking at the required class load. For the fall semester I would be required to take 5 classes plus 3 LABS - how the heck am I gonna manage that without totally freaking out??? It will be the equivalent of a full-time job and then evenings spent studying. Why did I not settle on this major 25 years ago!!! Always gotta take the more difficult route.

Suddenly my boring 'ole life (and lame job) is looking A LOT more attractive.

How are things on your end??

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Sick and Tired of Cleaning

I was wasting time on Twitter this morning when I saw someone tweet this link and man, did it touch on a nerve.

Just last night I had out the vacuum cleaner and was cleaning our "office area." What a thankless task.

So much of my time is spent cleaning. After 18 years of being the primary "housekeeper" - I'm burned out and sick of it. I am an intelligent creative being yet that only consumes a fraction of my time compared to cleaning, "straightening up" and organizing. BLECH.

I used to be an incredible cleaning perfectionist. Every week the house was cleaned top to bottom - for sure. My standards have been greatly relaxed over the years, but they are still pretty high compared to most and that eats away at me.

I was mentioning the theory of the woman in the article, that she only cleans when absolutely necessary - to my husband and son and my son immediately chimed in with:

"Mom, you shouldn't clean so much."

Now before you think this is out of the goodness of his heart because he is concerned about dear 'ole mom, it is more likely becuase he is tired of hearing me b*thching and whining about his 1,000 juggling props that litter the office/foyer/family room area.

It is difficult to get motivated to clean when you first have to clear the area you need to vacuum!!!

I know, I know - when he is off to college in a mere 3 years I'll be missing the landmine of juggling props, but in the meantime I need to come up with some type of compromise before I blow a fuse.

Or maybe I'll just take the tactic of the blogger in the article and just clean whenever there is a horrendous mess.

Call before you come and visit.

*if you do click on the link, be sure to read the judgmental comments below the post <--- harsh!!!

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Project Cheeseball --------> It's Back!

I've been feeling very dejected lately. Down in the dumps as I contemplate the real possibility that I may be a full time student in a few weeks. But this is what you wanted Carma? What's your problem???

It's just that I turn into a major stress case when I am in school. Couple that with the thought that I"ll be attending alongside people 25 years younger than me and I'm scared - also lazy - at the thought of all that work.

Did you see this article about the "beauty expert" surmising that Obama has aged a decade in two years??? College for me is tatamount to presidential stress - since I am the EXPERT at manufacturing stress even in situations that might not seem stressful. I don't want to age.

There's only one thing that can cheer me up today - cheeseballs!!! Yes, my Twitter friend Eva sent me this tweet over the weekend: @ejly: @CarmaSez how's life? http://t.co/JXHMTGS

So I clicked on over to the link and was elated when I saw this:

Eva's son Elliott rockin' the cheese balls!!!

Elliott with not one but TWO barrels of cheesy goodness!

According to Eva, Elliott is an awesome kid - and that sure looks to be the case :-) Thanks guys for making possible another Project Cheeseball.

If anyone else would like to participate, photos are always welcome!

*for more Project Cheeseball posts and some back story, search "Project Cheeseball" in the box in the upper lefthand corner of my blog.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

People Who Annoy Me, Feeling Secure & Other Misc. Stuff

I've come to realize that there is a particular personality type that grates on my nerves more than most others. It is the person who KNOWS EVERYTHING and needs to inject themselves into EVERY conversation.

I bump into this person once a week in a group setting. Yesterday I was speaking to a friend of mine, following up on a treatment recommendation that we had been speaking about the week before, namely spider vein treatment. *I like to divulge all my imperfections on this blog and it is true, I did have a small patch of tiny spider veins that will hopefully be disappearing within the next 4 to 5 weeks - WOOT!! *

I happened to mention it to my friend last week and she pointed out an area on her calf that she had had since childhood. So this week I brought the card of the vein center I went to. I was handing her the card when Blabby McBlabberson comes in the room and hears us talking and immediately has to blab out really loud "OH, YOU HAVE VEINS" - and then the instructor was walking by and she repeats it "VEINS?" And the 10 other people in the room look over....

Blabby McBlabberson goes on to say that she had really bad veins that were treated with electrolysis and how often she goes and on and on and on.

First, I honestly believe electrolysis was not created for the purpose of treating spider veins. Secondly the doctor I recommended is one of the few in the country with some special vein certification. Third, in the long run the treatment costs less than the 8 visits she is making to her electrolysis person.

So I just whispered to my friend to explore my recommendation and then walked away.

But the thing is this happens EVERY WEEK. She is always finding her way into every conversation. If I mention I get dizzy from spinning like an airplane she is suggesting I take Dramamine and on and on and on...

She means well, but it is so darn annoying I could SCREAM!!!!

>Confession time: I watched Dr. Phil today - during a late morning workout. He had on his Dr. Phil Housewives aka train wrecks in progress. One of the women is my age and is on her sixth marriage.

I do not judge, but my jaw does drop.

One bit of wisdom from today's show: "If you are secure in yourself - everything that others do or say about you will have no impact." NOTE TO SELF: Get Secure quickly.

VC was in his 9th Grade school play over the weekend. Before the first night's show he started getting hoarse and by the second night had a fever, but the show must go on, and didn't he look handsome even if his woodcutter's outfit featured this LOL belt:

I haven't been watching The Bachelor except to see a couple clips here and there. But I did see a quick recap on that late night rewind show, and I don't know, I'm not getting good vibes for Brad and his beloved Emily. Do you think the main attraction was that she is hot with awesome teeth?

Thursday, March 10, 2011

An Epiphany Moment

What if everything you or everyone else thought about you was WRONG?? As I ponder my next career, I'm in flux. One thing I know is that I am not a writer.

Several times over the past few years I have heard, "you should write a book." Uh, no. There will be no book. I've come to the conclusion that stringing together a few sentences is the limit to my writing. Anything more than a few paragraphs, and I'm completely stumped.

This has me panicking since one of the colleges I've applied to requires about 5 writing courses for my non-writing major.

But where did people get the idea I should be writing? Maybe because I was smart at things school-related? As I've been gathering together my various transcripts, I had a WTF moment when I saw that in High School I received a C+ for one quarter of Gym - it was the gymnastics segment - and I still remember it. I cannot do a cartwheel. Can only do a spastic somersault, and that's the extent of my gymnastics. But it was a mandatory unit. Nevertheless it looks like I graduated 6 out of the 269 students in my graduating class. Not too shabby, but enough to brand me as a "smarty pants."

And smarty pants should apparently be writers, even if they are not really writers.

I remember back when I was about 10 years old we took several backpacking trips out to Wyoming, Montana and Colorado. I would carry around a little sketch book that I would also write poems in.

I can recall verbatim one of the lines in a poem, "I drove my car with its 4 tires to thar them hills where I found sapphires."

That was seriously the line.

I am not a poet either.

Although I have an artistic bent, it is not enough for me to stand out and making a living from. Just gotta face that fact, even though a friend on FB recently said that she wishes I would pursue my art.

Which brings me back to what I SHOULD be doing. What if I'm not quite the shy wallflower everybody thought I was. The bookish student destined to achieve big things. LOLOLOL.

What if I am really more of a "people person" despite spending my childhood clinging to my mother's legs at family parties afraid that anybody would say something to me.

What if I'm not supposed to be sitting in an office crunching numbers or preparing legal documents (another past career)?

What if I really do relate well to people and need to be working around people?

I'm almost embarrassed to admit this since I've been so stereotyped by family members and my own biases after taking tests like the Meyers Briggs personality test - that concluded I'm for certain an introvert.

But what if everything everybody assumed about me was wrong and that I can get a job out in the working world and be successful at it by my sheer ability to relate to people??

And what if I am spending way too much time navel gazing when I have taxes to do and 750 post cards to hand address???

Are you the person everybody has believed you to be?

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Just What Exactly are They Suggesting???

Did you see this photo on Yahoo! News earlier in the week? Well, that's one solution to your pet woes, but totally NOT #winning <------ my first and last reference to the latest Charlie Sheen debacle. Do you remember a few months back when I wrote that post in his defense? :-O ..Now it seems like he has finally snapped and I don't want to poke fun at someone who is quite possibly mentally ill.

P.S. After reading some of the comments (on my wordpress site: http://carmasez.com) I realized this is one of my worst posts to date. And that says a lot, but does it not look like the lady is choking that poor pooch?????

Sunday, March 6, 2011

My New Haircut



How shall I put this

a lot like

My Old haircut!!

OK. So I chickened out on the Scar Jo do. My hairstylist explained that Scarlett's do would take a lot of upkeep, meaning haircuts at intervals closer than once every 4 months.... Plus I would need to flat iron it. *GASP* I don't even own a flat iron, and I don't spend more than 5 minutes a day on my hair (don't tell me it's obvious?? ;-) ) ....

All of that sounded simply overwhelming :D So here I am - looking a lot like I looked the day before I got my hair cut. So much for edgy!!!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Please Stop Me Before I Get This Haircut!

...or encourage me to get some cojones and go for it!!!! I used to be Edgy. Once.

Then I somehow morphed into "surburban mom."

I can be edgy again, can't I????

P.S. Fellow Goop Subscribers, did you get your email from Gwynnie this morning "I'm having an insanely busy week in LA, doing Glee and other madness. See you next week.
Love, GP"

Awwwwww...that's sweet. Now I can move on with my day working at my totally lameass, non busy job in the suburbs.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

When Life Gives You Kumquats

It's been an insanely busy week, if you don't count the occasional napping, which partially accounts for me being MIA. The other part is that I've been lazy and unmotivated in my blogging. Let's just be honest.

Did you ever notice something on your body (that looks like extra fatty tissue or swelling or a bump) that has been there at least a year and a half, (when you go back and look at photos), and all of a sudden you realize it may NOT be a normal thing?????

So you make an appointment with a doctor, who is also concerned and suggests a sonogram to figure out exactly what it is?

Yeah, that's where I'm at. Only I have to wait 2 weeks for the sonogram. I'm not good at waiting.

In the meantime two people have uttered the phrase "When your number's up, your number's up" - one time in reference to me, the other the day before in reference to something else. People, when someone is concerned about something, that is NOT A GOOD PHRASE TO USE TO PROVIDE A SOURCE OF REASSURANCE!!!!!!!

I've yet to hear from the college with regards to my acceptance. If I do get in I am going to completely panic and feel that I am not going to be able to hack it. I will feel that I can barely write a paper and won't be able to keep up with the workload. I know who NOT to seek for reassurance (see above). I've begun to realize that it is a cat I will be dissecting not a pig; I can barely cut chicken.

Yes, I realize that I overuse the word "I" when I write and that it makes me sound self-centered. Need to work on that. (notice I didn't say "I need to work on that.")

VC came home from school and casually mentioned that he got the rat he and his partner will be dissecting for science class. He said this matter-of-factly and then went on to say that they played a guessing game to see who would have to wash the dead rat. When I asked where they store the rats, he said that the rats are laid out on the teacher's desk, because she has a big desk. So all 50 dead rats are lined up on her desk.

That cracked me up.

VC is always a good source of levity when I'm uber-stressed. He and MB have been butting heads lately. I'm going to chalk it up to the "teenage years" and then quietly disappear whenever I hear them disagreeing....

VC called me at work stressed about it and as I was speaking to him, he asked "why does your voice sound like that" - when I asked what he meant, he said "so soothing." That made me smile. Maybe I will be a good fit for my future occupation after all!! :-)

Until my next update! I'll be trying to stay positive and not to dwell on things or freak out.

Be well my friends!!!

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