Thursday, March 10, 2011

An Epiphany Moment

What if everything you or everyone else thought about you was WRONG?? As I ponder my next career, I'm in flux. One thing I know is that I am not a writer.

Several times over the past few years I have heard, "you should write a book." Uh, no. There will be no book. I've come to the conclusion that stringing together a few sentences is the limit to my writing. Anything more than a few paragraphs, and I'm completely stumped.

This has me panicking since one of the colleges I've applied to requires about 5 writing courses for my non-writing major.

But where did people get the idea I should be writing? Maybe because I was smart at things school-related? As I've been gathering together my various transcripts, I had a WTF moment when I saw that in High School I received a C+ for one quarter of Gym - it was the gymnastics segment - and I still remember it. I cannot do a cartwheel. Can only do a spastic somersault, and that's the extent of my gymnastics. But it was a mandatory unit. Nevertheless it looks like I graduated 6 out of the 269 students in my graduating class. Not too shabby, but enough to brand me as a "smarty pants."

And smarty pants should apparently be writers, even if they are not really writers.

I remember back when I was about 10 years old we took several backpacking trips out to Wyoming, Montana and Colorado. I would carry around a little sketch book that I would also write poems in.

I can recall verbatim one of the lines in a poem, "I drove my car with its 4 tires to thar them hills where I found sapphires."

That was seriously the line.

I am not a poet either.

Although I have an artistic bent, it is not enough for me to stand out and making a living from. Just gotta face that fact, even though a friend on FB recently said that she wishes I would pursue my art.

Which brings me back to what I SHOULD be doing. What if I'm not quite the shy wallflower everybody thought I was. The bookish student destined to achieve big things. LOLOLOL.

What if I am really more of a "people person" despite spending my childhood clinging to my mother's legs at family parties afraid that anybody would say something to me.

What if I'm not supposed to be sitting in an office crunching numbers or preparing legal documents (another past career)?

What if I really do relate well to people and need to be working around people?

I'm almost embarrassed to admit this since I've been so stereotyped by family members and my own biases after taking tests like the Meyers Briggs personality test - that concluded I'm for certain an introvert.

But what if everything everybody assumed about me was wrong and that I can get a job out in the working world and be successful at it by my sheer ability to relate to people??

And what if I am spending way too much time navel gazing when I have taxes to do and 750 post cards to hand address???

Are you the person everybody has believed you to be?

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