Monday, December 21, 2009

A Little Wounded Bird

A post by my bloggy friend Tammy, (love her!) brought to mind an incident that happened this week, wherein I, "big brave Carma", was compared to a little wounded bird....

I need to be a little cryptic about the situation, but the general gist was that I was speaking to a particularly challenging individual who is very intimidating, at which point I burst into tears...I was tired of the constant challenges to any topic I brought up and was exasperated trying to get my point across and feeling grossly undervalued. Again. Midway through the discussion she said I looked like a little wounded bird.

The sad thing is that this statement is more true than I care to admit. Since I'm too cheap to go to a shrink, I did a quick self-diagnosis: Most of my difficulties boil down to the fact that I hate to disappoint anyone. Ever.

I've been bullied by several individuals over the years and have rarely fought back. Is it time for the little wounded bird to kick some serious buttocks????? Me thinks so. Other sad truth: That is unlikely to happen. I realize how often I tell my son not to "end up like me." Who wants to grow up to be the wounded bird instead of the proud eagle? He's going to be an eagle. I just know it. *runs to get tissues*

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But fret not peoples, I have just received an awesome blog award with seriously the nicest "tribute" ever from Cristina at When is There Time To Sleep. Cristina has a wicked sense of humor. Head on over and check out her blog!
I know I'm supposed to be passing this on to my sweet blogging friends, but since it is 12:45 am and I was so excited I had to add it to my post toute de suite!

If you are a regular commenter to my blog, consider yourself awarded. If you do a "Ten Things That Make Me Happy List" - please let me know so I'll be sure to visit your site to read it :-) Thanks Cristina!

32 comments:

Kaylen said...

Aw, poor little wounded bird!!
For what it's worth, you have never disappointed me!! :)
At least you know why you are a wounded bird-you can identify what is going on and you recognize that this is how you are. I think you should give yourself a big pat on your little winged back for that! Many people have no self-awareness of how they are, so you are at least a stronger bird than some.

alessandra said...

Oh, hoo, what a serious post today....there would be a lot to say about this topic, I was the same, but I'm doing better, because I'm loving myself more :-)
( and I resolved my feeling of not being "enough" with a technique here: http://www.recreateyourlife.com/free/ )
XOXO

BLOGitse said...

Greetings from Cairo! :)
Thanks for your visit,
you got a new reader - just subscribed your feed.
I got Cristina's award too - she's so kind.
Bad thing is that I don't participate in blog awards.
Commenting is the best award there is! And that is something some bloggers forget...that blogging is interaction.
But you know! :)
Have a great day! See you!

Vodka Logic said...

I cry too sometimes when I am intimidated and i hate it. It makes me look weak.

Congrats on the award

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

It is hard to be tough enough sometimes. Keep trying. I am. Congrats on the award.

Karen said...

Thank you for visiting my blog.

I often struggle between the wounded bird and proud eagle. I agree with Kaylen, you know who you are and that is the most important thing.

I often say that I want my son to be stronger than me and more independent. I hope that I can show him how.

Karen

Mommy, I'm Home said...

Carma, don't go getting all serious on me the week I have to deal with my in-laws AND the wackiness that is my mother. I can't handle it.

OK, enough about me, let's talk about you....

I too think it's great that you know yourself well enough that you can admit that you're the little wounded bird. Seriously, those other bloggers are right -- you are a much stronger bird than some!

Melissa B. said...

Congrats to you! You know, I was speaking to Ella Numera Una who, I'm sure you know, is in law school.

Me: I thought about being a lawyer, once.
She: Mom, you couldn't be a lawyer.
Me: Why?
She: Because you'd get in front of a judge and cry and stamp your feet, and say, "Judge, he's being mean to me!"

She has a point.

Cristina said...

No way that someone named Carma is a wounded bird. I won't allow it to be so. If you need some kick ass - ever - I know people. Kidding. just call me, I'll kick it into high gear and bring out your inner protectress - yes, that is a word.

Head up - Carma sez shine your light on the world...shine your light for the world to see...

xx

Cristina

Kristina P. said...

It's hard to be assertive! It takes lots of practice.

sana said...

hi carma! looks to me like you have a great army of supporters...and now you have one more! thanks for stopping by. SITS has been great!

Sana

Yankee Girl said...

I used to be a wounded bird, but I am past that now. It took me A LOT of time to figure out how to keep my cool. Now, I can act cool as a cucumber in public and wait til I am in the privacy of my own home or car to let the tears run. It's definitely hard to control ones emotions.

You have an amazing source of strength. Do not be afraid to use it.

Janna Bee said...

I'm sorry Carma, I am SOO the same way, so I totally understand where you are coming from. I have a very intimidating boss, and I have, on time ended up crying to my direct supervisor about it... she is just so combative and unreasonable. It's a very volatile work environment, but I'm just happy to have a job right now I guess. The money from this job can pay for my therapy later?

Randi Troxell said...

i am totally this way too..

it makes hubby mad, he's all "why do you care so much, who cares what THEY think..."

true... but much easier said than done..

Kristin said...

You stand up for yourself lady. You most def don't deserve to be pushed around!

Amanda said...

I had no imagines you as a wounded bird... but I believe you when you say that is how you are. You know you best.

I have enough fight in mt for the both of us. Is your hubby like that? Does he have no problem fighting battles??

Blessings-
Amanda

McVal said...

Don't wounded birds come back stronger tho? ... Unless they're caught by a cat or something...

Congrats on your award! You deserve it!

Donna said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog. Wounded bird, huh? You could still peck the nasty person in the eye... if only to set a good example for your eagle son.

Lucy said...

Yeah, I know that wounded bird feeling a little too well BUT I am getting a little better at being less wounded, I think it is age that is giving me some confidence. So, there is something good about being in my forties (LOL)

Pretty, Shiny, Sparkly said...

Thanks for stopping by to welcome me to SITS, you are so sweet! Fabulous blog, girl!

Anti-Supermom said...

I'm so sorry, poor little thing.

Shawn said...

Oh---I am a wimp when confronted----I always want to please people---its a sickness, I know.... I am trying to be more ballsy with a business to run---but it ain't easy!

angelcel said...

I could write a whole essay for a response here because I am the original Blubby McBlubberton and particularly despise conflict.) I'll precis it all down to say that some of us are just more sensitive than others and wear our heart on our sleeve. Frustratingly, I do know that tears are perceived as a sign of weakness, yet you and I know that we are *not* weak. I can guarantee that when the chips are down you would fight like a tigress to protect your family.

This person's statement about a wounded bird sounds akin to those people who, when clearly seeing someone struggling to hold it together, say something like: 'Are you upsept?' (Dumbass question). I actually think they sense they have the upper hand and that question is 'going in for the kill' knowing that it will finish you off. It's equivalent of poking you with a stick...only doing it with words.

(Good Lord, I really need therapy)

Housewife Savant said...

Without sweethearts (like you) who would harsh people (like me) intimidate?
You're so sweet and I lurve you so much I'd peck out the eyes of anyone who'd hurt you.
You can send me a list.

A Woman Of No Importance said...

Ah, Carma, we are too alike - I am as strong as an ox on behalf of others, but I have allowed myself to be bullied by others in my life - I find women harder to rail against than men, and women sometimes attack others whom they perceive to be threats...

We know this about ourselves and yet, wh'appens?!

You could be the little wounded bird with the heart of a lion, non??!

Oh, and I loved The Boy's stage sneeze (as a honker myself, I envy those 'little lady' sneezes!)...

And Baby Bangs? Runs for the hills in horror and terror!

Word Verif is 'grout', a reminder that I need to get my downstairs loo tiled - How timely!

My love to you, my friend, and for what comments you left me most recently, I say "Ditto"! xox

Chief said...

yer a riot! where have you been?

Im followin'!

JennyMac said...

poor bird! Congrats on your award. one thing that makes me happy: Being off today and the rest of the week. Love it.

Have a great holiday Carma.

Kathleen said...

Oh wounded bird! I truly have tears in my eyes reading your blog. I always saw my mama as a little wounded sparrow. Therapy is not as expensive as being wounded your whole life through. No disrespect intended! Your son needs to see the proud Eagle you are at heart sweet friend! His life is truly impacted by which type of bird YOU end up showing him.

kys said...

Congrats! At the top of my happy list is the nap I'm planning on taking in about 30 minutes. (If the duct tape stays on their mouths.)

Joy said...

I blame "the holidays" for missing this until now.

I would like to noogie anyone [not in a nice way] who makes my Carma feel like a little wounded bird!

xoxoxo

Joy said...

I will totally do the "ten things" mee the next chance I have.

Yaya said...

I've totally burst into tears on many occasions while confronting people. I'm so darn sensitive.

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