Tuesday, December 15, 2009

It Never Takes Long for the Haters to Emerge

I was on twitter last night when the news came in about the accidental drowning of @Miliary_Mom's son Bryson Drago Ross (seen here in this twitpic that she posted this morning http://twitpic.com/tkt9t). Several online friends of hers immediately posted their condolences. At least one of the them had met Shellie Ross (@Military_Mom) in person at a blogging conference.

I checked out MM's twitter account and indeed she had tweeted about the drowning and asked for prayers. I posted a couple messages on some of the tribute posts in show of support and many others did as well.....

Well, it didn't take long for the haters to emerge on Twitter. @Military_Mom has been responding back to them, but hopefully she will just let it go. Several have written tweets accusing her of neglecting her child and Tweeting while the incident happened. Of course, no one knows the actual circumstances, but that doesn't stop the conjecture and hate.

I always wonder what this type of individual (hater) is like in real life. Do they hide behind their twitter accounts or attack people they meet in person, too....

Maybe some may not find it appropriate for her to be tweeting so soon after his death, but until you have experienced the same loss, who are you to say what is or isn't appropriate...For many bloggers, their internet friends are only a click away and more "there" for them than some of their real life friends....

Just some thoughts. I know that people are extra diligent about verifying things, especially after the whole April Rose hoax, but by all accounts (the story has just been verified in a local paper Florida Today) this is a real story with real people, that is a real tragedy...

25 comments:

Yankee Girl said...

That is a horrible tragedy. I cannot believe that some people think they have the right to push their thoughts and opinions on others when they don't really matter.

At times like this, people can use all the friends they can find. If they are online or in person, it shouldn't matter who they are leaning on.

People need to focus on what is important: a mother lost her child.

Amanda said...

I think you're right, I think people are more wary now after the whole April Rose thing, as well as other "scams" coming to light in recent months. I think they're realizing that not everybody uses the internet in an honest way.
Still, we shouldn't let paranoia at being "duped" keep us from showing compassion.
And I too often wonder if people who are so quick to judge behind the anonymity and protection of a computer screen and keyboard are truly that aggressive in "real life" or if the shadows give them bravery.

My thoughts go out to her family.

Just A Mom (Call me JAM for short) said...

I saw that last night on Twitter. What a heartbreaking story. I live in such a sheltered bubble, I never even thought of something like that not being real. But I guess it happens. It's too bad that there are people out there that are so hardened in life that they can't reach out when it's truly needed...

Rebecca Jo said...

I think the world is just full of hateful people like that - behind the accounts & in real life.. & that's a shame... I try to remember the saying "Hurt people, hurt people"... they obviously have had some bad things happen in their lives if they want to pick & poke & judge people who are going through a tragedy... so very sad.

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

People can be so cruel at such a horrible time. I too wonder if those people are that aggressive in real life too.

blueviolet said...

I didn't know that people were questioning the story until today. I was really shocked to hear that.
I'm just heartbroken for the family with their loss. I don't think there is anything worse than losing your child.

A Woman Of No Importance said...

Carma, I am so lucky in the friends that I have here... Sometimes we do rash and unusual things in grief, and no-one can or ought to tell you how to grieve for anyone... There is no right or wrong way to grieve the loss of a child, as you say...

Sometimes the horror in life takes my breath away... I know that both you and I know that even the most diligent parents have had one of those moments when your child has just disappeared, and they take only seconds - the time it takes to get a dish from the oven, the time it takes to empty the dishwasher... Pools are dangerous, full stop. No-one has the right to judge this woman... Many blessings to you, my beautiful friend, for shedding some light where there is such darkness and people are too quick to condemn or to doubt... x

Kaylen said...

I think if there was a tragedy in my family, I would blog about it also. Once you've established an internet "family" - you feel their love when you need it most.

I'm so very sad about this story...but did she really seriously blog 30 minutes after?? I'm not sure I love my internet family that much to update that quickly...I'm just sayin....

Jen said...

I heard about that poor child! I think people should keep their angry thoughts to themselves. A mother just lost her child, isn't that bad enough? That poor family. My heart breaks for them.

Laura said...

It just makes me totally sick that there are people like that out there. It doesn't matter what you "think" happened, how can someone ever say terrible things to a mother who just lost a child from an ACCIDENT!! I can't believe adult women actually act like that, so sad.

Joy said...

So sad. I sent my condolences.

bayctygrl said...

so sad all around. Shame on those horrid people.
I read their comments. They are attention seekers. These are the people that sit on their high horse judging and pointing until they day life humbles us, like it always does at some point.

I said this earlier, I would rather be made a fool for caring than a fool for being heartless.

I will keep military mom in my prayers. I cannot imagine her pain.

I am just so thankful that those bad apples are not the majority and that the majority of people do care and do extend their prayers and support to someone they don't know.

Lisa said...

Some people are so men. They'll have a lot to answer for one of these days.
People deal with tragedy in different ways. What works for you might not work for me and vice versa. I say if blogging,FBing or/and tweeting help...go for it. The main thing you need is support and that is a lot of support.


*Sorry haven't been around,trying to get caught up. Computer acting wonky**

Kathie @ my net finds said...

I wish I could say I'm surprised, but I'm not....That poor woman.

Amanda said...

Well... I cant say that I know waht I would do in her shoes... but MAN! That is a horrible place to be...

Even if I DID think it was not appropriate to twitter, i would hardly say something at a time like this!!

Geez.

God bless-
Amanda

Tater Tot Mom said...

That is so horrible-on both accounts, the drowning and the hateful people. I'm convinced that those people do that kind of stuff to make themselves feel better about their pathetic lives. There's no other explanation that people could be so cruel.

Aunt Juicebox said...

This is terribly sad. A boy at my daughter's school recently died in a car wreck, and AT HIS FUNERAL, another boy yelled out that he deserved it.??? Why, of all things, would someone want to make the grief of the people who loved him, that much worse? Who knows the details, but it doesn't negate the fact that this woman just lost her child. People are heartless.

Shawn said...

Oh----that is so sad---about the accident and about the hatred.

Why do people have to be that way?

tattytiara said...

Yes, I've seen people hurt by scams that prey on compassion, and I've seen people hurt by callousness where there was a genuine need for compassion on the internet. Perhaps Military Mom isn't locking her Tweet Feed because fighting off trolls is giving her a release for some anger.

AnnQ said...

It's so disappointing to know there are people out there like that, especially regarding the loss of a child.

jane said...

Yes, those people were completely out of line. And, so are you--inciting others to gossip about it.

shraddha said...

i hope you will not get angry at me but i find it hard to imagine someone tweeting when the child must be being seen by paramedics(after 911 call), on the way to hospital or even in the hospital (being declared dead or on ventilator)
she tweeted just an hour before 'he fell in the pool' tweet)so everything had to happen in that one hour...

i agree that directly telling her that its weird that she tweeted is rude but if she comes looking and reads my comment and i am considered a hater..then so be it...i am who i am....and i feel bad for her, no mother should have to go through it , no child should suffer like this but i can not understand how a parent can tweet at such a circumstance and if i was investigating the case ,i would try to rule out neglect..

Lucy said...

I saw that tweet. I have to admit I thought it was odd but I would not have judged or tweeted my judgement, instead I said a quick prayer for her child and family, so I guess it accomplished what she hoped for unfortunately the worst happened but my prayer still went out for the family.

Anti-Supermom said...

I think people think they can say whatever they want when it's not face-to-face; with the mentality 'I'll never meet xxx'.

People forget their filters in social media.

A tragedy, all the way around.

Kristin said...

Taunting someone who just lost their child? VERY VERY LOW!

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