Thursday, September 10, 2009

I Give UP!!!

[Keep in mind that this post was written on the heels of shelliing out $20 for a hamburger hat.]

So we've already tackled the fundraising, which means we are now on Day 9 of the school year.

Over the summer, kids were asked to read 30 hours and to prepare a Book Talk (which could take several written forms or video format).

Since VC's video skills are excellent, he decided to prepare a video about his book - it came out to be about 8 minutes long. When he turned it in on Tuesday, he realized that his was the only video.

It is a bit of a tough crowd at his school, especially on the playground, and if you do things that are a bit different, well then, be prepared to be harassed.

He was stressed about his class seeing the video. (since it is not cool to appear scholarly). Why he did not think of this ahead of time, I do not know.

Anyhoo, so I suggested maybe he could just present the points that were on the video to the class and that the teacher could watch and evaluate the video without having to show it to the entire class.


I didn't think this would be a big deal, so I shot off a quick email, asking the teacher if this would be possible, as he "already has plenty of issues dealing with the playground bullies without adding fuel to the fire."

In the 9 years he has been in school, I can count on one hand the times I have contacted teachers outside routine communications (and they have usually been a lesson in futility). I guess I figured this to be a good opportunity to subtly get in about the playground bullying that has not been addressed by the school.

Big Mistake.

Here's what I received back this morning: "It is fine with me, but I think he needs to start overcoming some of this. In high school and in his language arts classes, he will have to be in front of the class...."

NO MENTION ABOUT BULLIES?????? Just keep those blinders on. This is of much more concern to me than whether or not he is comfortable talking in front of the class, and I already said in my email that he would be happy to do a presentation in front of the class. Would that not mean he is OK talking in front of the class????????

And, I could give a flying flip about what will happen when he is in high school language arts. By then he will be in AP classes and no longer surrounded by f*ing morons. [Did I also mention I am hormonally challenged this week ;-)]

Barring any catastrophes, this will be my final non-routine communication with the Middle School this year. I'd rather sit and bang my head against the wall.

**Please also refer to my newer post - also posted today**

photo credit Eddie~S'

22 comments:

Randi Troxell said...

WOW! you have every right to be pissed... seeing whereas i'm pissed for yours and his sake too... basically to me it just looked as if she DID NOT even read the email but just hit some keys and pressed send for the email...

Janna Bee said...

I would totally be pissed too. I wonder when teachers stop "getting it". And they wonder why the youth of America is so disillusioned with school. Poor VC. I remember those bullies well. I am dreading when this happens to my sons, I can already see it in small amounts.

There is good news in this post- VC is more talented and creative than most of his fellow students and consequently will do so much better in life than those bullies.

Stephanie Faris said...

Honestly? It is my uninformed opinion that many teachers just don't know what to do about bullies. They know it happens...but they're too wimpy to step in.

Kristin said...

Dude, I fear I will be a bully's and clueless teacher's worse nightmare. Nobody better mess with my little cub! If she's too chicken sh*t to deal with it herself than take it to the administration teach. Geesh.

McVal said...

I hope those bullies figure out that they're not going to get thru life by bringing everyone elses down.
Have you talked to the principal about the bullying? Sounds like the teacher just zeroed in on learning lesson rather than what the real issue is.

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

I'd be totally pissed, too. Did the teacher even READ your email, or skim and make assumptions?

Maybe that teacher is related to Princess Nagger's first grade teacher... ;)

Lucy said...

I've emailed you personally about our personal experience with bullying. Teachers will not and in fairness cannot deal with it.

It has to be dealt with at the administrative level.

Now, the teacher should have read the email in it's entirety and then made a decision about taking further steps.

I will tell you one thing that my son was instructed by his psychiatrist and administrators, "You cannot change others behavior and it it most important to figure out how you can change to make yourself less of a target." I know that statement seems horrifying at first but once you settle down and we did, because we wanted to save our son, that is what we did. His psychiatrist and the assistant principal really gave him some wonderful tools and it turned my son's life around. In addition the school was working on helping the 'bully' and by the time that young man hit High School he had changed quite a bit too BUT there were more bullies in High School and they never bothered my son. My son told us those tools were his lifesaver and he uses them to this day.

If it continues I highly suggest going to the administrators. They have the tools to work with the situation.

If your son is against that then email me. I would be more than willing to pass on some of the tools my son was given. No child should be miserable, unsafe or picked on at school.

Feeling Fit With Dana said...

Oh, I'm so sorry to read this. It's sad how kids get labeled as different just over something as simple as a video. I hope that you are able to get this worked out. I'd be mad at the teacher too! She didn't even bother to completely read your email. Hope the year gets better and soon!

Amanda said...

Well....coming from a soon to be homeschooling mom... this is one reason I am glad that *I* get to help my child figure out bullies and confrontation and how to handle uncomfortable situations. Because I have a feeling that YOU know exaclty what your childs needs are and that is EXACTLY what you relay to the teacher and they MISSED the boat entirely.

Maybe thats just me.

You fight for your kid sweety!!

Blessings!

Rebecca Jo said...

OK the line, "I think he needs to over come this" made my own blood pressure boil!!! OBVIOUSLY he's not shy when it comes to those things if he made a VIDEO!!!!! ugh... how ignorant are the ones who are supposed to teach sometimes...

Karen said...

Oh, how I dread those middle school years when everyone from the mean kids to the apathetic teachers will surely piss me off each and every day!

Housewife Savant said...

Don't p*ss me off.
Too late. I'm p*ssed.
Don't get me started.
Too late I've started.
I'm sure you know what I mean so I won't go on and on.

Laura said...

UGH, kids are SOOOO mean! I'm so sorry you have to deal with bullies and non-helpful teachers on top of it. I can't even imagine how hard it is as a mom to say and do what you need without going over board. I can see myself after our first "incident" flying through the school halls looking to bash some heads in...or something similar that doesn't sound so violent. I hope everything works out!

Connie Walsh said...

I'm sorry you are going through this. The teacher is in charge at the school and it's not right for her to ignore a situation that is untenable.

I have noticed since my boys went to school (they are 16 and 14) that the incidents of bullying in their schools is rather low. The known bullies are scrutinized very closely. I know one mom of a "bully" constantly complained to me how she was constantly called to inform her of her childs indescretions. I think she felt just as helpless as the parents of kids who get bullied.

I don't know what the answer is but the answer is certainly not to ignore the problem or put the solution on the kid.

Connie Walsh said...

I'm sorry you are going through this. The teacher is in charge at the school and it's not right for her to ignore a situation that is untenable.

I have noticed since my boys went to school (they are 16 and 14) that the incidents of bullying in their schools is rather low. The known bullies are scrutinized very closely. I know one mom of a "bully" constantly complained to me how she was constantly called to inform her of her childs indescretions. I think she felt just as helpless as the parents of kids who get bullied.

I don't know what the answer is but the answer is certainly not to ignore the problem or put the solution on the kid.

Lucy is right in the fact that in almost all situations you cannot change the other person. There are definitely skills that a person can learn to erase the bullseye on their chest.

~Kristen~ said...

I am going to refrain from saying what I really want to say about the #$^%&#*@ teacher!!! WTF?!? I don't get it.....I seriously don't get people!!! I would take comfort in the fact that VC is going to so far outshine those little shits that are bullying him!!! Seriously...while they are wasting away their days in juvie, VC will be the one with the great life!!! He is smart, talented, creative, handsome and you can tell he is just an all-around great kid!!! I know it is hard for you as the Mama...you want to protect your boy! But he is going to make you proud...so proud! You watch!!! :-)

Michele McGraw said...

OMG!!! Insane! I can't believe that comment. Some teachers find it easier to pretend it's not happening than to deal with it. Very sad!!!

blueviolet said...

I saw this happen in my own middle school. There were plenty of bullying issues going on (not with my kids) and they were repeated and repeated with very little consequence if any for the bullies.

I think the middle school years are the worst years of childhood.

Jill of All Trades said...

Oh goodness. I would not EVER relive those years, either personally or through my girls again. Both were disastrous for us all around. Good luck!

Shawn said...

Ooooohhhh---I detest bullies---and peer pressure sucks!! Did I mention that I hate teachers that don't get your point, either?

EEErrrrrggghhh.

Kathie @ my net finds said...

man, oh man, that truly pisses me off and reminds me about another thing I hated about teaching! The teachers!!!! She should have at least acknowledged the bullying comment and said that she would speak to the principal (or whomever) about it. That is something that would never, every fly with me in teaching.

Yaya said...

Yeah, sounds like that teacher skimmed your email and didn't process it. Idiot.

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