Thursday, September 10, 2009

An Addendum


I felt I had better write a quick addendum to the previous posting before everyone feels compelled to take pity on VC.

I have been doing my own form of assertiveness training with him and it appears to be keeping the bullies at bay - for now. But last thing he wants is to give the morons (aka "little angels) something to pick on him about, i.e., his scholarly video.

My concern is more with the school not acknowledging that there is a problem. You can't fix what you don't acknowledge.

And now that the bullies appear to be scattering from VC and his group of friends, I'm sure they have settled on some new targets. Sometimes I feel the need to step up and make a difference. And then when I am met with a response such as the non-response I received, I think, "what the heck was I thinking?", grumble, blog about it and move on.

As long as VC is standing up for himself, I'm done.


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20 comments:

Amanda said...

I may have said this before, but

YOU ARE RIGHT

and
YOU KNOW YOUR KID

Dont doubt that.

I am SOOOOOO on team Carma.

;)

McVal said...

Good job on the assertiveness training! I hope it all works out for you guys!

Lucy said...

You keep up the fight!!!

Randi Troxell said...

i say kuddos to you... a momma that gives a crap.. go you!

~Kristen~ said...

Rock on Mama!!!!!!! :-)

parentingBYdummies said...

Tough situation. As a former teacher I was always torn about what to do about bullies (didn't want to interfere in case kid is embarrassed or whatever, but didn't want to ignore it either). Sadly, at my school I think I was the only person who even noticed (or cared) that it wad going on, including the kids' parents. At least you are connected enough to know and brave enough to say.

Yankee Girl said...

I think middle school is the hardest thing for kids to get through. Being assertive may be the only to show people that bullying is not welcome.

And the teacher really should take at least a little concern for your child. I find it outrageous that she doesn't seem to care.

Good luck to both you and VC.

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

I just read your last post. The teacher's response sucked. So sorry about that. You are right.

blueviolet said...

I'm glad he's standing up for himself.

Against school policy but per our own policy, we always told our son...if anybody ever bullies you, do not hit them, but if they hit you, you have our permission to beat the daylights out of them in defense.

Fortunately, that never happened.

Shawn said...

Goooo Carma, Gooooo Carma----parent of the year!!!

shraddha/april@theselfloveproject said...

agreed..

hugs and love
shraddha

Tater Tot Mom said...

Bullies suck!

Hopefully the assertiveness training will help.

I can't believe that the teacher didn't even take a passing interest...maybe you should go bully her and see how she likes it!

angelcel said...

I read the last post and it twists me up inside because I'm afraid it echoes the attitude of teachers at my daughters' old school. They don't listen and really are too busy to care. Only if you misbehave do you get their attention because it must be a 'cry for help'. What about the kids who are silently going through hell? It's all such complete *pants*, it really is.

You clearly have a talented and creative son and my experience of such people is that they are often highly sensitive too. This makes dealing with 'pack animals' like the playground bullies doubly hard. Sensitive and creative people stand out but also often lack the tools to stand up to life's oafs.

You're absolutely right to be helping with assertiveness training and I hope this helps. If, however, there continues to be a problem, I wouldn't hesitate to bypass the useless teacher and ask for a meeting with someone higher up the food chain in order to make my views known. Bureaucracy, even in the school environment, is such that when you make an official complaint, they simply can't ignore you.

angelcel said...

I read the last post and it twists me up inside because I'm afraid it echoes the attitude of teachers at my daughters' old school. They don't listen and really are too busy to care. Only if you misbehave do you get their attention because it must be a 'cry for help'. What about the kids who are silently going through hell? It's all such complete *pants*, it really is.

You clearly have a talented and creative son and my experience of such people is that they are often highly sensitive too. This makes dealing with 'pack animals' like the playground bullies doubly hard. Sensitive and creative people stand out but also often lack the tools to stand up to life's oafs.

You're absolutely right to be helping with assertiveness training and I hope this helps. If, however, there continues to be a problem, I wouldn't hesitate to bypass the useless teacher and ask for a meeting with someone higher up the food chain in order to make my views known. Bureaucracy, even in the school environment, is such that when you make an official complaint, they simply can't ignore you.

cherie said...

i better NOT hear of anyone bullying my kid, grrrrr!!

Joy said...

Mean people sure do suck.

Kristin said...

You're quite the mama lady!

Yaya said...

The 7 year old I nanny for is horribly bullied and it breaks my heart. I wanna scream at her teacher and say 'don't you see what's going on??' 'why don't you DO SOMETHING??' but it's not my place to say anything. It IS my boss (her Mom's) responsibility (IMO).

JP said...

CARMA,

With my oldest VC starting Middle school I am always concerned about bullies.

I hated middle school and there was a bit of bullying.

It all seemed to pass in High school.

My thoughts - reassure VC but don't meddle (unless ther is something dangerous going on)

Of course you are 2 years ahead of me with experience so I will probably learn from you.

From the birth Place of Civilization - JP

Adrian's Crazy Life said...

I hear ya! We've had some horrible problems with bullies at my son's school. This year a kid was bugging him on the 3rd day of school - the same kid as last year. Blake had a cast on his foot and this kid was kicking the cast, chasing him and trying to throw sand on it.

I went ballistic and sent (yet another) blazing E-mail to the Principal. As usual, I got no response. So I decided to take a different tack. I went to the school board (oh yes I did!). I spoke to the School Superintendent. Unfortunately, he hasn't responded yet - two weeks later. But believe me I'm going to keep on it. I'm about sick and tired of this nonsense. I don't send my son to school to be picked on all the time.

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