Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Belly Dance Smackdown!!

A couple months ago our instructor sent an email and in part said that she was so thrilled that we were all such a cohesive group. We were like "sisters in dance." (I'm paraphrasing here) since she often hears of a lot of "cattiness" among other dance groups.

Everything was all kumbaya and happy happy. I, too, was amazed at how supportive everyone has been. But then last week I noticed something interesting. There were two girls who joined the group a little over a month ago and they've not seemed overly friendly, which at first seemed no big deal, since I consider myself a bit of an introvert.

Last week class began and I was in the second row. We started doing the warm up and then all of a sudden one of the girls comes from behind me and stands one foot in front of me. She is much taller than me and I had to scoot way over to be able to see the instructor. The room is HUGE. There was no need for her to stand smack dab in front of me. Weird. But I made do.

A couple of weeks ago when we attended the Belly Dance Yard sale, I saw her and her buddy and asked all friendly, "Did you find everything you needed?" Her friend looked at me like I had three eyes and said NOTHING!!!

Then, this week, I notice her and her friend glance over my way and then start smirking. (This was the first week I came in full costume, as did most everybody else.) Ok. Whatever. I figured I may have been getting a little paranoid. Then, a little later on, I asked a question and I swear they were whispering to each other. WTH???? Talk about being transported back in time to middle school!! It made me very sad :-(

I stepped outside my comfort zone to take the class in the first place, and now I'm beginning to feel self-conscious. In class, I am not a Chatty Cathy and I pretty much fly under the radar, so I'm not sure what the deal is, but I was sooooo tempted to ask what the problem was. Of course, I may have been misinterpreting things since there are 12 of us in the room, but that is unlikely.

Luckily I have met another mom who lives about a 1/2 mile away and we have been carpooling. She and the other ladies are very sweet. I did not bring this up to her on the way home since I wasn't sure if I was blowing things out of proportion.

Today VC and I were shopping together and I mentioned finding some shells to go with my costume and he said, "I think the Belly Dance class really suits you." I told him about the girls who were being unfriendly and said I bet that he felt this same way at school when shunned by the Kewl Kids and he agreed.

My question: At what age does all this silliness stop??? Sometimes I still feel like a defenseless little kid inside. After years of mental "beat downs" I am ready to unleash a huge can of whoop ass!!

*Goes to eat protein bar. The only sugary thing available as comfort food*

Forget Sisters in Dance, I'm gonna call it "Beyootches in Dance" :D


P.S. VC just said that I will never get into a smackdown, ever (he should not be so sure)

P.P.S. If I can barely handle a belly dance class how would my "sensitive self" fare at BlogHer? I'd be eaten alive!!!

P.P.P.S. The purpose of writing this is just to convey my feelings, not to have you all feel the need to pump me up; although if you do decide to do that, it won't be discouraged ;-)

30 comments:

Kristin said...

It's time for a beat down. I've got your back! Seriously ladies, GROW UP. Don't let morons take the fun out of something for you!

Sarah said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog!

Amanda said...

Dude. Blogher scares me. I went on there once and was kicked in the neck by a big lesbian holding an infant wearing a skull onesie.

There are so many things wrong with thst statement but I just can't bring myself to erase it.

Listen. Seriously. Listen. Those two gilrs are so horribly insecure it is not even funny.

Know what you should do?

I don't either. I was realy just asking.

I would be willing to call my *people* though if they don't get their snickering and snottiness in check. I know people who *know* people. And they know other people.

Its cool.

Blessings~
Amanda

Maricris Zen Mama said...

I don't think it really ever do stop! I guess it's in our genes. LOL! Even in the blogosphere you'll find bloggers who do the same. Lots of cattiness but you learn to move on and make good friends. If you ask me, they're just jealous of you! I would love to see you in that costume tho. My daughter and I are big fans of belly dancers! You go girl!

Chaya Bluma said...

Wow! Doesn't sound like any belly dance class I've been in. I've found most dancers and aspiring dancers to be very supportive and friendly. Hope you don't let it discourage you - Belly dance is too much fun!

Lemondrop Marie said...

Amazing isn't it? Why do some people feel so much better because they can be sh@#$@y to someone else?
And seriously- who has time to be that rude and mean?
I am impressed that you are doing that class- I think it's a great thing for lots of reasons- including feeling good about yourself while doing it. So I hope that you'll continue to enjoy it and ignore the vapid rude edjits. Now I want to open a can of whoop ass!

Shawn said...

EWWWWW----I am hatin' those mean bee--atches! I say wear your outfit with pride and smirk back at them....

Joy said...

I thought middle school ended at least by the time high school was over but what do I know? Hang in there. Don't let 'em see you sweat. {Where have I heard that before? A Secret commercial perhaps?}

Blue State Cowgirl said...

I would have suspected belly dancers were a vicious crowd. It's all that pita bread and hummus.

You should string UTZ Cheese Balls on your costume, then spin so furiously that the Beyoches are sprayed in a cloud of orange dust.

Then have Austin stand outside demonstrating his juggling. Then Oooops. A ball goes flying out and hits the Heathers in the head. Whoops. Kid's gotta work on his technique. Heh, heh.

Blue State Cowgirl said...

And besides, do those tramps know who they are dealing with? Only the most popular blogging belly dancer in the US and parts of Europe. (Don't you have Serbian fans?)

Christine said...

GAWD I hate those kind of people. They SUCK!!!!

Just ignore them, we all love you!!

(make sure you trip them over or something first though)

Kathie @ my net finds said...

It never stops, unfortunately. They're obviously very insecure and they can't handle that you do your own thing. Just ignore them because they want attention. :-(

Tammy Howard said...

I quit going to yoga classes once due to what I called 'the yoga bullies'. It was a small clique who had 'their spot' and thought they knew more than the instructor and were not shy about telling her so and they were just mean.

These were middle-aged women who took on every role laid forth in "Queen Bees and Wanna-be's". It was crazy.

I tried to remember why I was there - deep cleansing breathe - but after a couple months I'd had enough.

Seriously, though - don't let them push you out of something you love. You're made of tougher stuff than I am. Deep cleansing breathe...

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

Some people never grow up. Try to ignore those bitches.

You'll do fine at BlogHer. Wish I was going we could totally hang out.

Karen said...

Want me to come to your next class and break some kneecaps? I would, you know....

Janna Bee said...

You know I've got your back against those beetches!

Also I feel the same way about BlogHer. Which is why I didn't go (that and lack of fundage).

Rebecca Jo said...

that royally sucks... sadly, I dont think it ever stops... some people never outgrow wanting to be the "catty" girls.. whatever! As long as you are being nice - no one can say anything bad about you... so keep killing them with kindness!!!

I have people in my Jazzercise class that are like that - will take up all the room like they OWN the place - its like "Seriously?"... for me though, I'm not one to mince words when pushed...

Maybe you can hint to other people in the class - like "Wow, so & so doesnt seem very friendly" - see if anyone else jumps in... or you could be direct & say "I'm going THROW DOWN with these BEEYOOTCCHES".. it'd be fun to see the reactions of that!

Karen said...

One pneumatic nail gun in the mail...

Aleta said...

Think about Big Brother shows and Bachelorette, etc. Do they look like they are out of that high school mentality? Some people - just do grow out of the groups and snide reminds. They do it to make themselves feel better and if they get a reaction from you - it will never stop and it just feeds their ego, gives them more gossip and nonsense to chat about. Put on a smile, enjoy the friendly people, ignore the two teens in the group (yes, teens, think of them that way).... I'm envious that you're taking a belly dancing class! How cool! Focus on the fun!

Yankee Girl said...

I literally get sad when I hear about women being mean to other women. I don't understand why we do this and I think it is something that will continue no matter the age.

I am all about the sisterhood between women and do my best to make other people feel welcome and comfortable. When I'm in situations like yours, I always approach the people in question and ask point blank if I can help them with anything. I know this may be hard for some people...I am just REALLY social and secure (I think it was all of my years as a Girl Scout). I make it perfectly clear that that kind of behavior is unacceptable. Naturally this usually makes people dislike me more, but at least I did what I could to stand up for myself.

Always remember that you are an intelligent and beautiful woman and these catty bitches won't be able to get the best of you.

Fruitful Vine2 said...

Don't let 'children' stop you from doing something you want to do. Whatever happens, don't quit!

JamericanSpice said...

Oh dear the high school stupidity never stops.

Listen girl. You took this class because you wanted this and I'm sure you are enjoying it and loving it.

These little twits just wants to ruin it for you and anyone else they can because they feel low self esteem.

Forget their presence. It's negative energy. Focus on having fun and learning and being the best.

If they approach you outright with being rude or threatening, then you report them and then you bitchslapdown their little twit faces.

I too, am like you in being mentally beaten down over the years, but now it's all different. I am NOT putting up with crap from people.

Not much time left in life to lay down like a mat for them anymore.

This is adulthood. they either adjust or go back to highschool.

Now you know you a sexy fine thing. Go rock that belly!

lilybox said...

just be your self and treat them as what they probably are i.e. children. Like the saying goes what goes round comes round (i think)

Jen said...

It sounds like they are very insecure and in the wrong class. You took that class for yourself so should try to ignore them and enjoy yourself! Theres nothing worse then letting people like them ruin your day. But I also understand that it's easier said than done. I should take my own advice! :) Next time you go, just put a smile on your face and have fun with the other ladies :)

strokeofliving said...

This is late in saying, but open up that can of whoop ass on those two women. Stuff like that happens to me many many times when I am in work situations. I know I'm not paranoid and neither are you. People are weird and hate to be called out on their stuff. Which is why I'm sure I'm more unemployed than employed these days. I make them feel stupid and I don't hide it. I just have to learn to be more subtle. Most folks in my industry are insane and I'm much smarter than most of them but again, I'm in a subordinate position so my style works against me.

If you feel better taking the high road with your silence, just be yourself. If you can't resist a good jab - do it in your own way.

Bottom line is not to let them get away with juvenile behavior!

Or maybe I'm just ranting through my own stuff.

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

Wait...you are more of an 'introvert'? You?! That just makes me big puffy heart you even more...'cuz I am, too! :)

Sorry you've stepped into a time capsule and been transported back into the high school years...so not fun. Especially because they're old enough to 'know better'. But apparently it never seems to go away - I know people like that, which is why I no longer speak to them or hang out with them.

I know it's easier said than done, but completely and totally ignore them - don't even look in their direction. It sounds like you have made a friend or two (like the person you carpool with), so at least you have that camaraderie and aren't alone. Since they joined the class late, maybe they'll end up dropping out early...I can't imagine they'd have a very long attention span... ;)

Yaya said...

Sadly, some people never grow up. I'm sorry.

Stacey said...

I say kick their asses!

Thanks for the comment.

angelcel said...

What a great bunch of readers you have. It's genuinely lovely to see the support you have here and some of these ladies made me giggle with their comments too (Amanda & Blue State Cowgirl to mention but two).

I'm really offended and pissed off *for* you. What the hell is wrong with these women? And no - I don't think some people ever get beyond the emotional development of a fourteen-year-old. I can only assume that just as in school they are doing this to make themselves feel better and you're the poor schmuck who, for whatever reason, must bear the brunt of their bitchiness.

If this continues, and you can stay cool as a cucumber when you do it, maybe you could ask them straight out if they have some kind of a problem. (And I'd do this in front of others by the way). I think the difference when dealing with adults is that they will immediately back off because they see that they've been rumbled. You may even scare them away from class. (You can but hope).

Whatever happens, you stand your ground. You're better than a hundred of them.

adrian said...

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