Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Opinions Wanted

So the other day I had an event at my workplace. I got all dolled up (does this make me sound old), put my hair up and was feelin' fine. When I got there, my "superior" asked if I had done something different with my hair. Yeah, like duh!!! It is up. (My hair is normally never up.)

She went on to say (in front of a third person) that she liked my hair better a couple months back when I had a bob. She said that it was a lot more "becoming" on me. (I've been growing it out for months, so it is now shoulder length.)

She continued to say it looked much "chic-er" and that in Europe (she is of European descent) women rarely wear long hair and that (here's the kicker): "Women 'beyond a certain age' do not wear long hair." Hint, Hint...

Like, has she never heard of Demi Moore. Demi has some years on me (I won't say how many) and she wears her hair longer than mine and she looks stunning. Maybe Demi needs to get a more "becoming" bob. FYI - those scissors in the picture are to cut her hair, not neck, as it would appear. I'm getting lazier and lazier with the photoshopping, it would seem.

Anyhoo, this is the kind of clap trap I get to listen to. It was like she stabbed me in the gut. My excited mood quickly deflated. Then I started getting that paranoia of whether my hair really does look like crap long.

I was all set to make an appointment to get my hair chopped into a more "becoming style" when MB stopped me. (He likes long hair, particularly gorgeous long blond hair, but there is none of that here).

What are your thoughts on this latest conundrum??? Enquiring minds want to know :-)

36 comments:

Kelly said...

Sadly, I do think there's a certain age where women should have shorter hair. This age is far, far away for you and is more like sixty! Even some of those ladies are able to pull off the longer hair, as always it depends on the individual!
I think a lot of it depends on how people care for their hair! My poopy stylist fried the living hell out of my hair and now I do have to cut it and I'm very, very sad. Don't cut your hair, just for me!

A Woman Of No Importance said...

There was always this adage in the UK that post-40, long hair was ageing, particularly if it were grey, people thought you looked like a witch...and were very prepared to be unkind, just like your byotch of a colleague...

However, this was the years when we were expected to slip off into woolly twinsets and pearls, with a weekly set and colour rinse to the hair, usually blue, so we looked like younger versions of our mothers, if we were lucky, the Queen if we weren't!

I think your colleague is showing her age and lack of fashion savoir faire, and I think whatever suits you Carma, go for it, girl!

jubilee said...

I so think it's an individual thing. I generally agree that women of a "certain age" shouldn't have long hair, but when you have awesome hair that kinda knocks that blanket statement out the window.
Then again, if you and your husband like it, go for it.

Kathy said...

I'm 46 and still wear my hair longish. I live in an over 55 community and most of the women here have hair as short as their husbands,and I'm thinking,"Why don't they want to look like girls anymore?" I'm not going to cut my hair short. I think people who tell you to cut off your hair are jealous,pure and simple!

Aileigh said...

I don't believe in the "younger" or "older" haircut thing. Honestly, I think it is crap! I wouldn't listen to what anybody else has to say. If longer hair makes you feel sexier... then by all means, leave it alone! :) Hair is hair. It grows, we cut it, it grows some more. It even grows after we die. What I would be more intrigued with is if you did a fancy updo with some cheeze balls in it! Now that would be something! :)

Janna Bee said...

I think if your hair is long and full and healthy, it doesn't matter what age you are, it can be as long as you want. except for down to your butt- my rule is if you can sit on it, you need to cut it- no matter what the age!

I also think your superior sounds like a you-know-what!

tollesons4him said...

This is what I think.....
Do you like your hair like it is?
Who cares what she thinks, if you like it then stick with it. I hear all the time "I like your hair better this way" I just look at them and say "then you go and get your hair cut like it then" It ticks them off and they never comment again on it!!
That's just my two cents worth!!!
But I do like your hair how you have it now!!

Stereos and Souffles said...

I think it all depends on the health of your hair, if it still looks thick, shiny and healthy when it's long, than that's all that matters.

Kerri said...

Some people are so rude and don't think about others feelings. I don't think you need to cut your hair. Actaully most men love long hair. Yes, when women get really old, long hair does look wierd on them, and I don' tkno whow old you are, but keep it long and play a mean april fools joke on that lady!

chelsea said...

Thanks for the welcome:)

Mark said...

I'm not sure I'm one to ask, but you asked. Unless it inhibits your promotion opportunities I'd be inclined to keep it the way you like it. One of the freeing aspects of reaching a certain age (at least that I see) is that women start getting comfortable in your own skin, or tire of pleasing others.

An old wise frumpy little Yoda use to say, Just be true to yourself, stand up for yourself and be yourself oh wait maybe that was one of the Carradines from Kung Fu. Oh well it's great sage advice whoever takes credit for it.

PS Here I though you were going to cut Demi's head off and Photoshop it onto your body. Besides she's a freak of nature and not at all human.

Heather said...

As long as you like your hair long, then you cares what every one else may think! I found that a lot women I know who have short hair cuts think that every woman should have a short hair cut. Bah.

nikkicrumpet said...

I'm 48...and I probably wear mine longer than is "appropriate for my age" lol. It is down past my shoulders by 3 inches or so. Is it the best look for me? Heck if I know...but my hubby likes it long and I figure as long as he's happy with it then it works for me. I don't care if anyone else approves...he is the one I want to make happy!

Richard said...

If your beautiful with long hair your beautiful with short. Business is all about the bob though. Husbands lack all objectivity when it comes to face shapes and hairdo's. Ask your hairstylist or use a free imaging system like www.taaz.com

Karen said...

It's not about what others like, Carma. It's about what YOU like. It is your hair after all! I have super short hair and women are always saying to me "Oh, I'd love to have hair like that but my husband would hate it. He only likes long hair on women." My response to that is, so lose your husband while you're losing your hair... .

That's not a vote for shorter hair, though. That's a vote for deciding for yourself what YOU like on you and ignoring what everyone else thinks.

kidletsmum said...

Who do these people think they are??? Hair is hair... it's totally a matter of preference how you wear it. It's utter nonsense to say that certain ages require certain styles and lengths.
I am pissed off on your behalf, Carma. Grrrr.

Amydeanne said...

I think lots of ladies look great with long hair, even when their older.. I think when you're over 70 it's probably just easier to keep it short, but i like grammies with cute buns in the back, so doesn't bother me.

My aunt who is a hairstylist said that by the age of 25 you can tell how your face shape is and if it looks nice on you or not... because of face structure or something, it also changes textures and such as you age (every 7 years I believe), which is probably why most go shorter after kids..

I actually think the old wivestale about cutting it had to do with aging and lack of hair coloring lol.. with so much great products out there these days you can have gorgeous hair at any age!

okay, all that blabbling, I say do what you like and what feels good!
I keep trying to grow mine out but am stuck somewhere in the middle of a Vic.Bekham do and a fro lol.

Thanks for stopping by my place!

Lucy said...

I think the conversation was inappropriate. PERIOD.
I never let anyone tell me what to do with my hair. Wear it the way you like!!!

Carey-Life in the Carpool Lane said...

Your "superior" sounds tactless. If you like your hair then that is all that matters.

When you like something about yourself, whatever it may be, you project an air of confidence and that is what actually make someone attractive.

I'd tell your "superior" that here in America, women of all ages have enough confidence and are individual enough to wear their hair how ever they choose.

Thanks for stopping by my blog!

carma said...

Kelly-
I'm gonna try to keep it long, with your hair disaster in mind!

Woman of No Importance-
"looked like a younger version of our mothers....the Queen if we weren't" LOL. I love how you phrase things and tell it like it is!! My colleague is a generation ahead of me which could account for some of her 'tude

jubilee-
Unfortunately my hair is not awesome. It tends to be a bit wiry and frizzy :-( but I feel more comfortable having more around my face :-)

Kathy-
I love your look! And I agree, when my hair is shorter I take on a more masculine look considering my jawline and features. Not a good thing!

Aleigh-
Maybe I can use the cheese balls to give my hair some more fullness. Stick a few here and there. Excellent idea!

Janna Bee-
My hair is healthy, but not that full looking :-( could use a few extensions!

tollensons4him-
I'm going to borrow that line for the next time! Thanks :-)

Stereos and Souffles-
I wouldn't exactly qualify it as thick and shiny, but it is healthy ;-) Unfortunately I did not inherit good hair genes!!

Kerri-
I agree. That's the only way my husband likes my hair. I could go with it slightly shorter but I'm going to keep it as is for now. Thanks for commenting!

Mark-
It is only a two man show, so there is only one other rung on the ladder :-) Thank you for contributing your wise perspective. I can't believe I missed the awesome photoshop opportunity you speak of!!

Heather-
True. It is probably no coi
coincidence that her hair is very short!

nikkicrumpet-
Same here. It may not be the most "flattering" but it keeps the husband from whining about it ;-) There's something to be said for that!

Richard-
Great suggestion. I'll look into it...

Karen-
Part of me can't believe how old I am and that I am still concerned about others' opinions to this degree. Time to take a new approach!

kidletsmum-
Thanks for being pissed off on my behalf. That rocks!

Amydeanne-
Thanks for contributing this info to the discussion. I think one of the problems is that my texture has worsened as the years go by. It is now wavy and frizzy unless I use lots of product to tame it. When it is shorter, the problem is still the same so it doesn't make much difference.

Lucy-
I always love hearing your take on things. Inappropriate indeed!

Carey-Life-
I'm still a work in progress when it comes to projecting an air of confidence, but I'm making some strides!
carma

Jen L. said...

Hi, thanks for visiting my blog for UBP!
I have long hair (I'm in my thirties) and love it. I have some layers in mine because it's thick,so that helps it from frizzing out, but I'm able to "style" it with a flat iron for a different look, or let it do teh wavy thing that it does naturally. I say if you're happy with your style, do not change it.

Muthering Heights said...

I think you should have your hair the way YOU like it! What is she going to do, fire you for growing your hair out?

NateAndJakesMom said...

I am not of the party of people that believe that at a certain age you should have short hair. Really, if you have the energy to keep up with it and it isn't looking all like a rats nest, then I say wear it long, wear it however you want to!
I wear a pony tail, and I am not 16 anymore is that ok? Sometimes I even put my hair in pig tails - I am not 4 years old anymore is that ok?

Sometimes I choose not to put my hair in a particular style when my gray hairs poke up but that is about it. :)

Robin said...

Well....I loved your photo shop scissors.....and laughed harder when you felt you had to explain them.

As for your hair.......I second the advice of Mark and his "old wise frumpy little Yoda".....or maybe I'm just spellbound by the mental image of a wise old frumpy Yoda. And then there's that cheese ball do. If you're feeling daring, you might want to try it at the next company party......unless it would make you feel self conscious. :-)

Hope your day has been beautiful....

katef said...

I have no idea really. ... I keep thinking that there will come a time when I am 'too old' to wear a pony tail, but each year I get older and I still have that pony tail...

So really if yuo are happy and feeling great, to me that means you look good and you shouldn't let any one else bring you down!

Janine said...

Hey there - coming over from the Ultimate Blog Party (thanks for stopping by mine) and love your blog. Definitely going to follow you!

LoveMy2Dogs said...

First what does it matter what someone says about you when they question if you did something different to your hair, when in reality your hair was completely different than before. Maybe she is just confusing your hairstyle with someone else. I would do with your hair what makes you feel the best. It is all about ourselves when it comes to this subject if you ask me.

amykiane said...

oh my! i can't believe she actually said that to you. i think it's up to you. i usually keep mine short because i think it suits me better, but i think it totally depends on what you like on yourself.

carma said...

Jen L-
Maybe a few layers would make it look better; gotta give it some thought :-)

Muthering Heights-
you just never know with her (kidding!)

NateandJakesMom-
I love that you even wear pigtails!! My hair isn't thick enough to pull that off...but if it was...

Robin-
I agree. The frumpy old Yoda doles out some sage advice!

katef-
good advice :-)

Janine-
thanks for the follow!
carma

LoveMy2Dogs-
Unfortunately since she sees me all the time and it's just me and her at the business, I think she was just looking for a way to work it into the conversation and she seized the opportunity!

amykiane-
that's what I think I'll do! thanks for stopping by :-)
carma

The American Homemaker said...

I think you do what you can do what you want and look how you want. What the heck? Seriously there's an age when you can't have long hair? I plan on being young-looking and beautiful forever... LOL

purplemoose said...

Hi there! Thanks for visitingmy blog party! Oh--I got that comment too, a decade ago!! I'm in my late 30's (have to count on fingers and toes to remember my exact age. LOL) My hair is not thick, but it goes all the way to my waist. No plans to cut it any time soon!

Petula said...

The nerve of her! Although it may be true that some of us more seasoned ladies would look better with shorter hair it is not her place to say so. I haven't clicked around your site enough to offer an opinion. It looks like in the picture that it's a bob and it looks nice. I'm sorry she deflated your spirit that day and I totally understand how that would give you the "oh crap, I hope I haven't been looking silly" feeling.

Michelle said...

Wow, some people lack something called tact. I love when people make themselves look like idiots. I on the other hand chopped my hair to chin length after I had my little guy. I call it my mom hair. Thanks for stopping by my Tipsy site for UBP!

carma said...

The American Homemaker-
I love your attitude!

purplemoose-
Man, I am jealous of anyone with thick hair!! Definitely don't cut it :D

Petula-
I like your use of the word "seasoned"!!

Michelle-
Yeah, talk about tactless and obliviousness as well :D
carma

The Rambler said...

Eh, do what you want and what makes YOU feel better :)

BUT, I do like the shorter cut. I'm only 33 and like the more sophisticated bob's. (Not that I think I'm sophisticated, but more my attempt to try :)

Thanks so much for visiting me on my SITS day :)

carma said...

The Rambler-
Thanks! I appreciate you weighing in on my latest "issue" :-)
carma

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