Monday, March 23, 2009

Not Me! Monday

Back for another 'round:

This week, I did NOT singe my fingers to the point where they blistered while cooking a gourmet dinner *cough* instant mashed potatoes *cough.* I did NOT take a picture to share all of this with you. I do NOT want you to ignore my big a%$ knuckles :-) and alligator skin. (Singed flesh seems to be becoming another recurring theme on the blog!)

You may have read last week about me thinking about going back to school to earn another degree. You may have read the part where I learned that the major I was considering would NOT require cat dissection. You may NOT have been completely turned off by this and gone to hug your cat. Well, friends, there's more:

***warning: A picture of a cow brain is NOT coming up***

On Thursday, I did NOT call the institute of higher education to speak with a member of the lab dept. to find out exactly how many weeks of dissection were NOT involved. He did NOT advise me that it was weeks and weeks. When I asked him about a particular BIO required class, which I was told did NOT not involve dissection, he was NOT happy to tell me that in this particular class, there was no cat dissection involved. Yeah, you heard me. That was NOT because we would NOT not be dissecting; it was because in this class, it was NOT sheep and cow brains that would be dissected. He was NOT interested in telling me all about the lab equipment. This did NOT include machines that I had never heard of. It also did NOT include mention that sheep's blood would be tested with some of the equipment because they were NOT not
permitted to use human blood.

He did NOT excitedly ask me if I would like to come by and see a dissection this week.

He did NOT go on to tell me that professors are NOT underappreciated at the institution and that they have NOT been demoted three times in the past few years due to budget cuts. He did NOT go on to tell me about his political views and how the Fat Cats in Washington are both in on it together to their advantage. He did NOT go on further to say that his superiors at the college do NOT not bother inviting the professors to meetings anymore, because they are more interested in eating crumpets. He did NOT tell me that this was fine by him.

When I inquired about the parking situation, he did NOT tell me that the profs have to park in a remote lot far, far away from the school so that the students can park up close. He did NOT tell me that he was almost hit by a car in the parking lot that day. I did NOT find this all of major interest. I am NOT not considering pursuing this degree. I am NOT looking for alternatives.

During the lengthy phone call, my Kix cereal did NOT turn into a soggy mess!!!

But, who needs higher education and a better job, when you can hold a garage sale to earn the "big bucks" LOL . This weekend we did NOT have a garage sale. We did NOT price some items higher than we should have in hopes that some Nascar fans would stop by since we do NOT live in NASCAR Valley.

A woman did NOT ask several times if a CD-ROM that I was selling for 75 cents would work on Windows XP. C'mon lady, go out on a limb on this one. The price was NOT 75 cents!!!!!

We did NOT attempt to sell cool stuff like this map of the Middle East because everyone does NOT need a map of the Middle East (or is that a NOT not?)

[This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.]


Lucy said...

Cooking gourmet dinners can be dangerous. What the heck is the degree?
Middle East Map for sale?
That I would have just thrown out (recycle of course), that is funny!!!!

Janna Bee said...

I disagree with Lucy- I try to sell anything I can get my hands on to sell at a garage sale. Someone bought a USED wood cutting board from me before! (I had never used it to cut meat- but still are you going to trust someone having a garage sale on that fact?)

Aileigh said...

My head is spinning... :)

Mark said...

You know that map you sold me at the last garage sale? Yeah I was so lost that I stopped in at the big a$$ knuckle & alligator skin rehabilitation clinic for directions to the gourmet mashed potato restaraunt. Since it was in the Middle East they sent me to a non-Nascar Valley cul-de-sac house to get a map and all I ended up buying was some old roll-over minutes and a Dale Sr. plush pillow.

I am so NOT glad that story is NOT true.

carma said...

The degree would have been PT Assistant. Can you believe that- for an "assistant"?? Did not realize it would be "hands on" to this extent!! I have tossed the map in the recycle bin (post-sale) :-)

Janna Bee-
I'm the same way. Sold a huge Tupperware bowl that I used only a few times since I have another the same size. One of those mondo bowls that you use to bring salads to parties - $2.00. You just never know, so it is worth a shot!

My blog tends to do that. Always sit down so you can stay steady while reading :D

Are you sure you weren't using the dog-eared Atlas you picked up in December?? I saw the rollover minutes commercial the night of the sale and I thought the same thing; I have told MB in the past that I am so like the mom in the commercial :-) with JB rolling his eyes at me. Do you like how I worked cow brains and Kix cereal into one post??

Kelly said...

I'm so having a garage sale! Great idea!!@!!!!!

Mark said...

No because you didn't have a tag/yard/garage sale in December. Although knowing you you re-gifted that Atlas along with the carbon dated fruitcake I received.

And that cow brain? I was under the impression that you were taking up Phrenology and that was one of your practice pieces. Pass the Kix & chocolate milk!

carma said...

Dig out your Middle Eastern maps and have a go!!!

Phrenology - do they still teach that ;-) I may need to head on over to Greece and enroll. Or maybe take an online class.

tollesons4him said...

Ouch!! So sorry about your fingers it hurts when you burn yourself!! All I can say is DISGUSTING when it comes to dissecting things my stomach can't handle things like that. Woo hoo on the garage sale and I am cracking up at the Middle East map. Happy Monday!! Great not me's

Tammigirl said...

There was just not enough warning to keep me from seeing the cow brain.

You've ruined me! Hooray for having someone I can blame.

Oh, and thanks for stopping by my suck/rock blog and welcoming me to SITS.

Please go enter the giveaway on my other blog:

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

Hope your fingers feel better.

Orah said...

oh - I remember my days in Nursing school dissecting cat and cow and sheep brain, heart and eyeball. I then stayed at someone's house one weekend, with a pet cat - that would hiss at me all weekend. That cat knew and was not liking me.

Blue State Cowgirl said...

Here's what I did NOT do. I did not order my UTZ Cheese Balls in time to take them on our epic Southern California roadtrip, thus missing key Cheese Ball photo ops such as Cheese Balls at the Hotel Bel-Air, Cheese Balls at the Old Mission and Cheese Balls at the Crystal Cathedral. As soon as I get them (Amazon says they are on their way) be looking for Cheese Balls at the Golden Gate Bridge!

carma said...

thanks. Yeah, I'm beginning to think I am not cut out (no pun intended) for such a "hands on" major.

Will leave more space the next time I post a cow brain warning :D
Hope you have recovered!

They do! and thanks :-)

I am duly impressed at anyone having graduated nursing school, after what I have learned this week! And that cat just knew. You know it!!

Blue State-
I was about to go sulk in a corner but then things brightened significantly when I got to the part about the Golden Gate Bridge photo op!
(but can you imagine the pics you could have taken with the cheese balls at the Schuller museum :D

NateAndJakesMom said...

Instant Mashed potatoes aren't gourmet???
Oh man!

Kristen Andrews said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog! I hope you are enjoying the UBP :) I like that little mug you have on your side bar, very cute!

Christy said...

So did you sell the Middle East map? You can turn maps into the coolest craft projects - I would have bought it! Funny blog - I like it!

Amy said...

ROFL!!! (Except for the singed fingers part... OUCH!)

carma said...

I wish they were because then I could say I am a "gourmet cook" :D

Thanks. It's from my "Girlfriends" line. Please spread the word :D

I'm afraid I may have tossed it already; but that's a great idea!

Yeah, I do NOT recommend the singeing!

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